If I can’t taste the soul, I ain’t interested.

I like to fully embrace how stupid sexting can be at times. I once asked my girlfriend, “Would you like to partake in some recreational intercourse?”

Funny thing is, it was on Tumblr. So I guess now it’s gone forever.

maintaining the horny.

Not as bad as “SHAZAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!”

That’s beautiful. Truly, no sarcasm, that’s awesome.

Oh! Oh! That reminds me!

Not sure this counts, but whatever:

I wanna dance with somebody who loves me.

“Fine! More for me! *starts chugging semen* Oh! All these wonderful chemicals! All mine!”

If he REALLY wanted parents to have more time for their kids he’d advocate for shorter work days, more paid vacation time, more paid sick and family leave and a higher minimum wage.

What is a fruits? What kind of animal does it come from?

That makes a lot of sense to me. We need more studies on this.

It is quite unbelievable. Someone else linked to an excerpt from the guy’s memoir:

That’s a good point.

I wholeheartedly believe everyone has their own unique health as is evidenced by the man that lived past 100 despite only eating bread dipped in bacon grease. (what did he do with the bacon?) So who knows, maybe a corset and Cheetos is the right choice for you.

Oh, and also:

corset-wearers generally lived longer than the average life expectancy for the time periods.

Under no circumstance is it ever okay to invade the privacy of any persons’ personal lives as long as no laws are being broken and no one is being harmed. Jeffo can dick it up with any consenting adult he wants and should be free from prying eyes, judgement or shame. Also, it’s just dick pics, not a big deal in the…

You never got a Polaroid one? Shake it, sh-sh-sh-shake it like a Polaroid picture.