I’m sorry you were in that place

Turning negativity into a fun game. Well done, very well done.

I tried to kill myself a few days before Thanksgiving one time. That made things extremely awkward.

“I’m exploding my feelings all over your face!”

Sexualizing food prep? More common than you think.

If bridal shops want us to spend ass loads of money on one-day-only dresses and stuff they need to lobby for a higher minimum wage so that people can actually afford their shit.

Yes! True love is food and belly rubs, not diamonds and gold.

I’d prefer engagement pizza.

Instead of a photo album you get a book of scratch and sniff stickers.

911: The call is coming from inside the house, get out now!

Note to self: Don’t tour book in China.

Universal Healthcare for everyone! ......except the people we don’t like.

A whole staff of them, eh? Hope they all get good benefits.

It was back when I was a kid, living through some gang wars. I was a tiny guy, I still am actually, so I picked up an anatomy book and learned how to break bodies. I developed a fighting style where I’d do something horrific to one person to make the others scared and run away.

Aww man, poor kitty. I’d give her all the nose nuzzles.

I have a good idea about how I want to do the lead up and aftermath. The actual sex part is a bit tricky.

No way. Am I a cat?

Yeah. I remember after the first time me and my ex had sex and I got home I could still smell her scent on me. Not her erotic scents, like, just her neutral body smell. And she said I smell like a baby. I’m not so sure about that, but smell is kind of subjective so *shrug*.

I’ve had lots and lots of sex. It was just with a few women mostly just one woman actually. I have very bad luck with women. I was on a second date with one woman I thought was going great. Then right at the end she says, “I’m gonna date this other guy I met yesterday instead. Bye.” And the woman that loved me so much…

Going in the research section of my bookmarks, thanks.