Nailed it.

Better off Ted.

Kalani Heppe never even played at NC State.

Yeah, right! Like the Eagles could ever pull off an interception like that against the Seahawks.

I got Conservative Party U.K. popping up.

So I’m going to be the one to point out he’s from Amityville?!

Isn’t Shaun White supposedly with Sarah Barthel (Phantogram)?

Dat dong doe.

Sprinters were always long jumpers because, physics. Since guys like Using Bolt, et al. don’t compete, it no longer has that drama.

Right out the gate—First questions in the interview he was totally not subtle:

How do we know that he’s not just functioning really slow to appear normal?

It’s idiotic at best and antagonistic at worst.

You ma-ma-ma-make muh pee pee maker tingle.

“White Christmas” was brilliant. I really hope they didn’t peak there.

I’m sure there will be some sort of super volcano eruption that takes care of the heat problem.

It doesn’t matter that it’s three or four wrong numbers—it’s 10 years!

Why are these women even allowed to leave the house?!

This didn’t happen.