kingofsarcasma
KingofSarcasma
kingofsarcasma

Approximately 64% of the U.S. Population is white. Slightly skewed, but I’m ok with these numbers.

...I did not have a costume, so I borrowed a ski mask from my neighbor and jumped in the Uber...

Stop trying to make soccer “a thing” on Deadspin.

Rugby players play fast and still tackle by wrapping up and not launching (a penalty) and just throwing elbows and shoulders into people (also a penalty)—especially the head (another penalty).

Lookout for those Ohiowa State Bucklones!

Boo-urns.

Is “Emmitt Smith’s Lock Of The Week!”racist?

Thin the herd.

611,000 people died of heart disease last year, but that’s just generally accepted right?

1,000,000 kids play football. Your stat is distorted.

According to the National Federation of State High School Associations, in 2013-2014: 1,093,234 students were playing 11-man football.

They’ve now played 49 Super Bowls without ever having the home team play in their own stadium. I realize they’ve had a few close calls (San Francisco played a Super Bowl at Stanford; the L.A. Rams played a Super Bowl at the Rose Bowl), and Super Bowls haven’t always been played in NFL stadiums, yada yada yada. But

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What’s with the music? Is this how Icelandic people actually court and apply mating rituals?

Security would not allow this fucking dipshit through the front gate. He again parked his vehicle and entered the property on foot. Motherfucker informed me he made contact with this fucking dipshit on the property and was escorting this fucking dipshit to retrieve his phone, at which time dipshit told this

Nothing worse than scouring around a floor for shreds of Reese’s or Hershey Kiss foil.

It’s not that they specifically block Kotaku, it’s because it comes up under “games” in whatever SEO type set-up they have. For example, I can use yahoo, but can’t use fantasysports.yahoo.

When it comes to takes with this guy—forget about the curveball, give’em the heater.

I’ve told this story before, but in middle school I once hollowed out a peach, microwaved it, and then stuck my dong in it. But I made the peach too hot, so it kinda burned me. WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, AM I RIGHT? No? Shit.