Drive a Bugatti Veyron? Heavens, do you think this car was designed for so common a purpose?

He could be doing both. Simultaneously, even.

A word that can happily fall between the intended meanings of ‘colourful’ and ‘fun’ is vibrant. So, this car is something that can make you feel more and more vibrant, thus I suggest:

Excellent. My plan has almost come to fruition! And when you have died, then... well, it’s too soon to speak of Project Flan.

I’’m trying to think of what might be different, but my mind is drawing a black.

Famine is the most slimming of the four horsepeople.

Unacceptable! I must be free to drive 150kph in a 100 zone! My liberties, man, my liberties!

I have had that conversation with my wife numerous times.

“... as long as it’s kept submerged in salt water,” eh? I’ll be right back!

That’s close, but I want full-on sexy bearded lady. Selma Hayek with a beard, but not the false face.

Is it wrong that I kind of want to see what $kaycog would come up with for a bearded lady?

I’ll use my armpit if I want to, dad!

I’m no electro-rustic engineer, or anything, but basically it’s a little metal box that connects to your battery, uses minimal juice, and sends a tiny current through some parts of your metal car bits. It’s supposed to make those parts not oxidize, or reduce oxidation. I just looked at it the other day when my A/C…

Naturally. You can even sprinkle your car with baking soda, too.

Condition of the pants doesn’t matter, either. I had just run into a wall so my pants were a bit torn and bloodied, but Ford still sold me a Mustang.

When I bought my Nissan Rogue, I needed the SV package for the third row on account of the unreasonable number of children I have. The dealer had to get it shipped in from Toronto. The first one, they looked at had environmental damage and a repainted roof, so they wouldn’t bring it in for me. The next one was damaged…

Clearly, the author meant to store your key in RFID-blocking porpoises. This provides a number of layers of security.

Obviously, you just need to park your car in your fridge. Duh!

You’re right. This is the next phase in driving, so it has to be subject to incredible scrutiny. I feel like all these investigations into Tesla crashes are absolutely necessary, not to piss on Elon Musk, but to make sure we get out all the kinks and bugs before things really take off.

Over their mouth, so no sound can come out of there.