No, no! I wrote ‘fuck movies,’ not ‘fuck movies.’ How was that unclear?

I was largely indifferent. I’m a long time enjoyer of the Star Wars films, but I’m not the kind who identify so closely with a movie that an attack on it, or an adulteration of it becomes a personal attack on me. That’s what we’re seeing here.

Fuck movies!

Thank you for straightening that poor lady’s pole.

See, I knew all about this perfridious diabolism ever since I started playing D&D in the ‘80s. The thing is, you gotta get into Satanism early. I’m now level 42, have three hirelings, Plate Mail of Fear, and 17 Charisma! These newcomers have a difficult struggle with feelings of suicidal ideation, and goblins, but at…

That’s just ridiculous! How can you even question the steakhood of Puerto Rico?! They’re just as tasty as the great steaks of Texas or Iowa!

You just know she pronounces it “chi-pole-tay”.

If you let the gays have cake, next thing you know people can marry legal pot! It’s a very slippery slope.

Gosh! Is there any problem that punching can’t solve?

Okay, how about an Outbreak scenario?

I will come at it from another angle: I would love to see a Marvel movie with no villain, and the heroes have to deal with a natural disaster. Disaster movies always appeal to me, but they’re almost always bad movies. The idea of the Avengers dealing with a Deep Impact situation, or some other heroes facing off…

All great until the first strong wind cuts across the road and all those 165 gram supercars go flying into a cow pasture.

Pushing weight down is what spoilers are for!

I got some silver cutlery for my second wedding and we do use it every day. It tarnishes plenty. Not too hard to clean it off, though, if you soak it in water with a bit of baking soda on a bed of aluminum foil.

Even if they don’t quite know what brogue detailing is!

That’s a nice shoe.

Ha ha! You’re so dumb, Drew. Those aren’t goats, they’re humans!

“(Sidenote: This piece will refrain from mentioning the North Carolina bathroom law, the recent Supreme Court homophobic bakery decision, the Freedom Riders, sit-ins, Jim Crow, the NBA and Super Bowl champions disinvited from the White House, or the people elbowed in the throat at Donald Trump rallies.)“

I love that the disclaimer below the picture of the macaron tote indicates “This picture is an image.” It helps clear up the confusion for me.