Just. Don’t. Tweet. That’s the main lesson here. There is literally no upside to using Twitter in 2021.

Now THERE was a guy afraid of needles!

The internet is a force multiplier for this kind of stupidity. The realization that there are other people just as stupid is empowering to them.

This is what the Thanos snap should be for. 

If antivaxxers could just spontaneously evaporate, like a dipshit Rapture, I’d be cool with it.

who sold DC Comics to DJ Khaled?

Listen, Bob - if the gay people in your life haven’t stopped you from leaving the house looking like a boxcar hobo who collapsed on a Walgreen’s 4th of July display, then they’re definitely not your friends.

He strikes me as a hentai tentacle kinda guy.

Can’t wait for Tucker Carlson’s hot take on why female athletes don’t need a weight room because weight training makes them less feminine.

Tucker’s been exponentially getting worse. Remember back when Jon Stewart handed him his ass on Crossfire? He’s definitely on a different level of bad faith, now.

a buddy just sent me the ‘oh boy sleep! that’s where i’m a viking!’ thread and i was shocked to learn it’s widely thought that ralph was saying ‘i’m a viking at sleeping’, not ‘when i sleep i dream i’m a viking’, which to me is the only possible interpretation.

You can tell the defense lawyer is good because she gets visibly exasperated when her objection is overruled - all three times she raises it - then sits back down in a huff.

I feel like if you go to your beachfront property to hide a hammer, and you’re choosing between the big, wide, expansive ocean where a hammer will pretty definitely sink, and the fireplace in your backyard, one of those is an obvious choice, and one is kind of lazy writing.

Randy Quaid turned in to Crack Santa so gradually I didn’t even notice.

So, are just going to ignore the questionable judgement of the parents from both sides for bringing their kids to trial, fully knowing that there would be some very explicit and graphic details discussed?

Also, maybe it’s the dad in me, but I found it troubling that the defense lawyer instantly whipped out the bloody…

That’s like saying the burglar defended himself against the home owner.

And to add to that, the motherfucker who bought the gun for him didn’t want to give it to him when he asked for it, but was too much of a fucking pussy because he didn’t want Rittenhouse to “throw a bitch fit.”

And didn’t his mother drive him there? Like she was taking him on a playdate? 

Surviving the game is flawless. the bad acting actually makes it better. how many movies have gary busey, rutger hauer, and f. murray (fuckin’) abraham fully embracing terrible dialogue like they were doing Shakespeare at the globe theater? i’ll tell you - ONE. 

Holy shit, this comment was from nineteen sixty nine, for fucks sake that’s an antique, how could you just delete that, you barbaria