real talk: jim breuer hasn’t been funny since half baked, and he was the weak link of that movie. 

thoughts a hot take if your username is a reference to the bad cocksparrer song. (all cocksparrer songs are bad: death to pop oi)

perhaps i’m overly touchy on this subject since i own another maligned breed of dog (a pitbull), but fuck this girl. a doberman is a strong, capable animal, and mistreating it does nothing but create the potential for disaster.

hawk’s 900 and jamie thomas’ leap of faith should be mandatory viewing for anyone who views skateboarding as something only delinquents do. its a sport that takes as much dedication as any other (and nerves of steel)

“we want to thank jethro tull for not releasing an album this year” - lars ulrich

neo libs in coastal cities? 

+1 for trump using the updated version of “America” as a campaign anthem after nobody bothered to read the lyrics.

also, the Duke brothers are also in it, albeit for about 10 seconds. “Randolph! We’re BACK!!!”

i hope he is in the sequel and has finally made it to assistant manager where the big bucks start rolling in. 

“is this shitty enough for you?”

an actual quote from an actual good person:

does that bear prefer jelly, or syrup?

i don’t think any father would enjoy this movie if it was recommended by a child, even innocently and not as a sort of “look at all these shitty dads” sort of way. just too heavy handed of a movie. (which for the record, i liked)

swearing is a gift that everyone should celebrate. i remember coming home from college for thanksgiving my freshman year and swearing as freely as i did in the dorms. my parents didn’t bat an eye. it was so fantastic, and i wish i had started openly swearing years before that.

the greatest decision i ever made was to turn my phone’s ringer off and to disable the vibrate option. my mom found out about that and was aghast. she asked “how do you know when people are reaching out to you?!?” - to which i replied “i don’t - that’s the point”

you can merge the two genres: condescension and swearing with a casual “fuckface” - like, if you call someone a fuckface while yelling its pure rage and emotion, but an offhand “ok, fuckface” packs that sardonic bite that is hard to rebuke. 

according to my wife, i don’t know how to wink. i think i can, but i’m not about to film myself to find out.

not defending this kid or the genre of his band (both are dogshit), but a lot of stories have popped up blaming angry music as the cause of this which is just a bunch of horseshit. from frank zappa and alice cooper to marilyn manson and cannibal corpse — music doesn’t make people killers.

fly back? he’s rolling back in his pimped up minivan. with a ride that cherry, you don’t let it languish in a garage