I won’t rest until they tell us what happened to the fucking Russian.

We’re definitely not going to need to add Eddie Vedder to that movie.

When did you lose your soul and become allergic to fun?

Some perspective on how historic this is:

Wait, so did the kid spend his birthday at the bar?

he can’t read yet

He was near the Assy Knoll. This of course is in the stadium parking lot where Bills fans tailgate.

Seemed to work out okay for Brian Dennehy:

My children are grown men now, but for years their sworn quest was to figure out which neighbor was slipping this bullshit in with the Snickers.

I had to pause the video and take a moment when Newt fucking Gingrich accused Fox fucking News of liberal bias.

Please let this election end already. It just feels so weird rooting for Megyn Kelly for something.

Her name is Melania, don’t be rude.

LOL...caught! Or unless you’re the Vikings or Panthers. Then it’s just a token fine like the rulebook says.

No. Just being generally aware footballs might have been abused.

Your suspension is four times as long if you’re caught abusing footballs.

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

Oh, so he was talking during the national anthem?

Can someone convince Skip Bayless to get hair plug treatments?