My woke son Jarapahat, 3, is allergic to tacos. “Tacos are made by Monsanto,” he told me, “and you are complicit in the hyper-corporatization of the food industry.”

Yep.

Exactly. Many of my family members specifically enlisted, then died in battle, so that people back home would be forced to stand when the National Anthem is sung, and denounced as traitors when they didn’t.

If CBS values my opinion so much why isn't Kevin James buried neck deep in hippo shit right now?

Black boxes? Cover up? Where is Malaysian Airlines Flight 370?! JET FUEL DOESN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS!

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

Can’t

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

I mean, there's still time.

Benjeahzi.

“You can take the Rams out of Missouri, but you can’t take Missouri out of the Rams.”

hold on, guy from Germany

What the fuck, Magary. Artichokes are fantastic. On their own, steamed and dipped in melted butter. YUM. I don’t know where you are getting your artichoke dip from, but that shit doesn’t have mayo in it. Sour cream, maybe. I make mine with a shit ton of cream cheese and some spinach. IT’S HEALTHY (it’s not). Pickled…

Triple H is VERY disappointed:

It stopped?

I recently met a vegan Crosfitter who answered the age-old question.

This is Drew. He barely knows Black people exist.

You don’t like to watch Slovenia compete in the 1,000 meter backfart?

Long live the king.