I’ve been attending the Batman School for Detectiving since I was a kid. All you have to do is stick something on a scanner and say, “Computer. Scan and analyze.” Case cracked!

I have two movies in my collection that are so comforting to me when I’m sick or generally in a fog: Wall-E and The Picture of Dorian Gray. The latter was the first thing I ever saw Angela Lansbury in (I’d seen ads for Murder She Wrote but have never seen an episode). She’s wonderful.

What’s this “school” thing I keep reading about? Are those the football centers? I thought the internet was for learning fax...er, faks, or something. That’s why Al Gore made it, right?

That one, single table set was $17,000??!!

I prefer the non-litigious term “Superb Owl.” It’s much more inclusive when discussing American football’s championship game, and avoids all potential lawsuits.

I am aware of the actual spelling of his character; I was just using his joke.

I hope her middle name is/will be Protagonist. :)

That’s because a lot of people were duped when it came out. It was marketed as a sexy sex-fest in order to put some hot asses and boners in the seats, but it was far from that. Kubrick always investigated different aspects of humanity (innovation, war, classism, et al), and Eyes Wide Shut focused on sexuality; but…

I blame all of this on Twilight.

I’ve been on the beta for a few versions (updated via wireless without a problem), and I’m pretty pleased. It took me a couple of days to work through, and get used to, it. But overall, there are some neat features added, of which I’ll take advantave. Obviously, not everything will cater to everyone, but you may find…

If you know someone who hasn’t updated, who is also on iOS, you can mask your messages by tapping and holding on the blue arrow (send message icon), and choosing “invisible ink.” They’ll be able to see nonsense, but won’t be able to swipe the message to reveal its contents until they’ve updated.

Meanwhile, Baltimore fans booed President Obama.

Want something vaguely similar to this premise (she doesn’t get kidnapped, but she does deal with the aftermath of that kind of accident), but WAYYYYYY better? Try this:

Dear Shortal,

Dr. Rick Marshall said everything that needs to be said:

I have extreme curiousity right now. Your writing and vocabulary skills are absolutely fantastic, so was the use of “all of the sudden” something that stuck early on? I'm fascinated with language, so this is purely academic for me and mean no offense.

Sounds like your dad sucks ;)

May I ask why you didn’t love it? That trailer got me so damn intrigued, but I’m curious what left you wanting.