In fairness, Pompei introduced the section that included the sleeplessness/caffeine chugging and the childbirth by calling Gase a “maniac.”

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet ‘til you die
From your first Keurig cup
To your last pizza pie.

When you’re a Jet,
You can eat on the can,
“You good?” to the wife,
You’re a family man.

You’re never alone,
You’re never intercepted.
You’re home on your phone—
When sleep is expected,
You’re well connected!

Then on the set
Of the…

Fuck Pompei for acting like this is a normal, good thing & fuck Gase for being THAT asshole boss who doesn’t leave his employees alone ever. The fact that he’s a mediocre coach just adds the cherry on the shit sundae.

I had the pleasure of watching Dan Marino’s last game in a small local bar owned by a shitheel of a Boomer who had turned the place into a Dolphins shrine, including a “Church of the Dolphin” sign. After the game, I rechristened the place as “Our Lady Of The Perpetual Disappointment”.

Very surprised Drew didn’t mention the 1972 Dolphins in his “what has always sucked” section. Those motherfuckers are the worst kind of Boomers, rooting for the failure of Millennials while spewing that “back in my day” bullshit.  

I googled their owner Steve Ross to see what he looked like and the majority of the hits were for Bob Ross’ son, Steve, who looks like someone Michael Myers would have killed in the 80s

Bixenspan just turned in his resignation letter after seeing this shit.

Okay, chuckle boy, I’ve enjoyed these but I think we need to keep some level of accuracy and accountability in journalism. Floyd did NOT “superplex” (as you say) Danny Amendola. A superplex, is a suplex off the top rope (and would thus be impossible in the NFL). If anything, Floyd did some variation of a gutwrench…

Watching this feels like starting a game of Extreme Warfare Revenge (still recommend over TEW in my opinion). The game starts up and the promotions start hiring new talent like wildfire.

Gone are the days when Regal can see a guy at a PWG show and say “you need to do this and this and if you can, you’re in” like happened with Owens and Zayn. Guys with that kind of buzz would have been signed 3-4 years earlier in the current climate.

NOT a Broncos fan, but I am a Denver resident, and give us a LITTLE slack about our Governor. Hickenlooper has moved on from the state house to tut-tut at the Dems who literally don’t want people to die from insulin rationing, and was replaced by Jared Polis, a Gay man who’s running a pretty left administration right…

Im glad Fangio's kidney stones made headlines since that's the best passing the Broncos will see all year. 

So I’m bored at work......

This is true. As a Packer fan I willingly sabotage my Fantasy Football chances by refusing to draft Bears or Vikings players.  But Lions players, sure why not.

like when you try to give your cousin grief over video games to make him feel normal while he slowly dies of leukemia

My man ZMF got engaged. He found love and told the Lions to fuck off out of his life forever.

My goodness I wish Zodiac Motherfucker would send in emails to Drew for this annual laughfest. Honestly reading ZM was the high point of the Lions’ season!

Reading this article is probably the happiest I’ll be during this Lions season. Imagine being the fan of a franchise and the happiest you know you’ll be during the entire football season is reading a Drew Magary piece in freakin’ July.

Wait until the Cowboys WYTS. Ezekiel Elliott looks like the grandfather of Frederick Douglass.