Carl is every Giants fan I’ve ever known. It’s uncanny.

It’s like they removed the part of his brain that experiences joy.

Lions fan here, felt like I couldn’t breathe for a second when I read that one

Well I mean...what else did you want them to release? They keep talking about how much he’s “Getting the playbook down” - the playbook in question containing approximately 8 plays. A hand off right, left, center, screen left, screen right, toss left, toss right, get sacked.

Yeah if I could take that option I totally would. Hmm, maybe I could just marry Rooney Mara, that’d be dope.

They’re going to disappoint you by being dull and mediocre rather than comically pathetic. They’ll go 7-9 to deprive you of the satisfaction of watching them go 2-14.

I’m with you.  I root for the dysfunctional dumpster fire in Washington, and it definitely hit home--HARD--with me.

I grew up a Giants fan, and spent 25 years spending every Sunday planted in front of a TV watching this team if I had the chance. For the last two seasons, I’ve cumulatively watched maybe three entire NFL games because I just gave up on the league.

I don’t know, that seems like solid advice.

That one hit home, and I’m not even a Giants fan.

Daniel Jones looks like the actor they’d cast to play Eli Manning in a movie about Peyton Manning’s life.

Rooney Mara, the best of the Maras AND the best of the Rooneys.

The rare example of two wrongs actually coming together to make a right.

Yeah but the Giants have to share credit with the Steelers for her accomplishments.

Some moron who just graduated from college asked Mara for advice as he was setting out on a career in business. Stunned at the question, Mara paused and said something like “I don’t know…marry well—I inherited a family business.”

This fucking team released a hype video of its new quarterback completing short passes. That’s not just setting the bar low, that’s burying it — probably because they intend to let Eli run this team until he’s dead.

On the plus side, Rooney Mara gave the best performance in the best movie I’ve seen in the last decade (A Ghost Story).

Bryan:

the bengals essentially practice under a fucking interstate bridge anyway. nobody gives a shit about these poor souls. it’s like they’re banished to a prison colony where vontaze burfict is jack or ralph and i don’t remember lord of the flies all that well fuck it i’m gonna go smoke a bowl.