“The Antichrist is a personality that will be at the head of the world wide web controlling the entire human race.

When media caught up he sprinted across the street to the First Baptist Church of Charlotte’s parking lot

Having admitted to the administration’s lies, Kellyanne Conway was never seen again. Some say she bought a beach house, some say she “bought the beach house.” 

Phew Im not the only one who noticed this stupid shit. Apparently ideological “balance” means you have to publish complete assholes all the time

lol all of the GOP branding firms are like “fuuuuuck this job is impossible”

I didn’t realize that Brexit is about Britain leaving planet Earth. “Atmosphere will be in short supply but look at that beautiful morning. I sure do miss mangoes, though.”

lol “My Grandfather stole this land, not me! So unfair! It’s mine now! Waaah”

It’s not like the new barriers are insurmountable. Just create an account, make sure your base64-encoded password passes our Security Gate, match your [job/volunteer job/job search] USID to its position on the Fairness Chart, triangulate your Freedom Position using your new Human Worth Points, in the predetermined time…

The problem is that they’re priced so that everyone can get one. Your mom, my mom, our mom’s moms, they all got um. I’m after exclusivity. Where are the $2600 phones? Where are the $5200 phones? They can’t expect to make any money pandering to those who ain’t got none.

I don’t think so Tucky. Stoned me at dinner:

The thing about the poster is that I think it’s calling Donald Trump a White Walker and I think Donald knows that too and it’s a nazi dogwhistle

This is simply unacceptable and obviously a play for Chinese international dominance. Are we really going to let China, backed by Russia and Iran probably, hide in the moon shadow as they plot a takeover of our precious bodily fluids? This is why we need spaceforce. All hail spaceforce

Every citizen deserves an equal amount of points no matter their birth, rank, ability, nor disability. This unequal distribution of points is the root cause of all society’s ills and misfortune. Only with a full reallocation of points will we evolve into a culture free of our destructive human nature.

Every citizen deserves an equal amount of points no matter their birth, rank, ability, nor disability. This unequal…

and perhaps in some cases the natural landscape prevents people from coming into the country easily

I had a meeting at the Pentagon with lots of generals. They were like from a movie. Better looking than Tom Cruise and stronger.

As they broke through the ice, scientists were shocked to find Hillary Clinton’s 263,000 deleted emails. Researchers are baffled. 

Yeah but when they die they’ll go to heaven because they rejected communism

You know who followed the law? Barack Obama. Despicable. It’s time we took the country in a new direction: no laws, closed government, but tons of autographs. Perfect. $35 an autograph. So smart

It’s a Muslim Mexican Menace. A veritably voracious, vast volume of vindictive Venezuelans. Soon, see seething Satanists silently slip into Southern suburbs.