Steinbauer and Lunter denied requests for comment, both citing their desire for mana and healing, and Villeneuve did not untap during her untap phase.

Thank god. All Ive been doing is fucking jazz musicians and i dont know how to stop

That nazi is free to invade the nation of my pants, hot damn

“Finally, something to do.” —Vice President Mike Pence 

The class better begin with “Don’t do what I’m doing right now to make money after you murder someone”

don’t go interpreting the things I write with your eyes but with my knowledge of internet culture

UHHHHHH the second amendment, anyone? If they flip 26 seats in the house then they have the combatant advantage in the upcoming D.C. Battle Royale

not a bug

Does it ever cross your mind that reporting on MMA is immoral

Look at all of this populism! At long last Donald Trump’s populist rhetoric is bearing fruit. Populists nationwide have been simply ecstatic that they finally get to enact their populist priorities, like stealing from the middle class! Higher debt! Fraud! Ha ha ha so populist

You know you’ve been reading too much news when you read this and think “Phew, not a child.”

The Caucasity of Dopes

Pizza is just a large open-faced sandwich

“My wife, Martha MacClinton, is obviously a deep state agent, planted by Obama and GEORGE SOROS. Lock her up! Lock her up!”

I don’t know how you can impeach somebody who’s done a great job.

Who is “Mike Huckabee’s compound son” Alex

“And to head our new space force is my long-time friend, Jesus Shaped Log; wave to the crowd, holy lord. Jesus Shaped Log has the bark, and the bite to swiftly lop off the branches of space crime.”

“Tell me more about this ‘apartheid.’ It sounds like something I could really get behind. Has it been around long? Is there a subscription fee?” —Donald Trump