My first tattoo is between my shoulder blades. When I was in the parking lot putting on my shirt to drive home, the bandage fell off. So I went back inside real quick to have the artist put on another bandage. He does, I leave and head home.

This is why you do extensive research on who is going to tattoo you. Get to know the artist.

except when it doesn’t

I’ve had an incredibly shitty day at work and this is exactly what I needed.

I’d rather have a 1.7 carat flawless diamond than some 2.5 carat, gawdy piece of shit with no clarity and a bad cut.

Keep in mind the fooling around is according to him. I’m sure a billionaire dude who’s barely 40 was totally faithful to her. Just like I think I just saw a pig fly by my window.

I’ve found that”hey, wanna throw a load in me?” works every time.

“The kid is watching a show; quick, lock the door!”

I sure hope she doesn’t eat pork or wear mixed fibers, lest she end up in hell with the rest of us gays.

Like I said in a different thread, this isn’t a joke. She’s setting a very dangerous precedent. What happens when a cop kills two gay men because that is what Leviticus tells him

Good fucking gravy.

So, I started in a Texas High School during my sophomore year, and it was pretty much the same shit. Even the text itself maybe wasn’t so bad, but the teachers were absolute bastards, who’d frequently tone their lectures with “it wasn’t all that bad” shtick.

I originally had fake names in there as a joke, but then I took them out because I thought “nah, this is stupid enough.”

what’s the word for that thing when you can’t tell if an article is parody or not

yeah, except what you wrote is better than what he wrote.

Also: world’s most simple lyrics. He’s practically “yeah yeah, my dick gets big, then I put it in her vagina. Yeah. She’s a girl. I have a dick. I have sex with my dick.” Lyrical master indeed.

Ah. After the last the last couple of weeks, these stories are sooooo satisfying. This:

The rabbit is such a perfect name for that dildo cause it’s like getting fucked by a rabbit. It seems like it was invented by a man with all its features. Its a vibrator, but it’s also a flashlight, a pair of scissors and a toothpick! Lelo is the way to go.

The magic wand is too much for me, and my go to has always been a rabbit knock off. Mine finally died, so I decided to upgrade and go with the classic.

Hate to say, but I’ve never found the Rabbit any good. The rubber rabbit-ears break off easily and are too gentle for me. The original “orgasm generator” if you ask me is the Magic Wand.