I have two that live in the proximity of my yard and the nearby neighborhood. Very cool birds, we get along well.

Typical dead-beat dad. His 15 seconds of fame has just about clocked in. I hear there are oil rig jobs in Alaska, get to it kid instead of looking for a hand out. Time to man up.

Tap lids with the butt-end of a knife. Or, you can tap lid on the counter. Or get a Cap Snaffler.

"Where's that hot bitch who lives in the 2nd story pink across the street? She usually waves around this hour. I wonder who chose the color? Mailguy. Lookit that stupid dog with his owner...dork! Oh well, time to lick my self to sleep."

@jessacecilia: And when I tell him to, he will attack a cute man and drag him home for me to keep and share and we will live happily ever after. Dessert.

"Would you like one hump or two?"

WOW. Pretty hot when you can make dolphin nut just by being there.

For all you bag-boys out there:

@LuvEwan:

@seabiscuit:

OK gals.

@rhymeandreason:

@ameliabearhart:

@lemoner:

I feel blessed the Teabags are such a small minority and will never go anywhere.

@zombie_fairy: LOL, I'm with ya sister.

@Chris Braak:

Why should I fear God, dear Sarah? Are you an ex-pagent girl?

@chatterboxwriting:

@duetoprivacy: