I don’t think Millenials “killed” anything, we just have higher standards. My boomer parents will drink any shitty alcohol if it’s what’s available. Coors light? Sure. Well vodka in a plastic bottle? Yup. Millenials want GOOD alcohol. I want a craft porter, or a gin and tonic made with small batch gin, and artisinal…

I have a three year old who is by far the best thing in my life. He’s a constant source of joy, a wonderful little weirdo, and it’s hard for me to remember what life was like before he was born. That said, being a parent is hard. I don’t find it hard in the same way that I think many other parents find it hard. I…

I never found Carmen. Not once. 

Ooh, I forgot about Sewing Bee. I watched that awhile ago, lol.

Holy Stepford Wives, Batman.

After the suggestion to watch the Great Pottery Throwdown (which you should watch), I have been down a youtube k-hole of British, low stakes competitions shows. In no particular order:

When you can’t leave the house to buy planting supplies, you make do with what you have.

Just eat a block of cheese. It’s healthier.

No. If you told me that the museum hired the Wendy’s twitter team to run their social media accounts, I would 100% believe you. 

Whoever left Tim in charge of the museum’s Twitter account is a marketing genius.

I miss Mark a lot too. Mark and Bobby were great.

I really love that the only thing keeping the Jonas Brothers relevant is how cool their wives are.

Hypothetically fuck this hypothetical guy.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, that looks fucking delicious. Add some mozzarella cheese sticks on the side, and I’m in quarantine snack heaven.

Like riding a real bike outside, on the empty streets, in the fresh air? Gross.

Agreed. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, at this point. 

Are the writers names Shmim Shmamfeller and James Hamfeller?

Hard yes.

It was just announced that Washingtonbars and restaurants will close , which honestly is something that should have happened at least a week ago.