Is your mom my step mom? Chris?

My favorite ever. About once a month when I’m feeling down, I watch it to cheer myself up.

Trying to fight a pitcher for striking you out is so stupid. That’d be like trying to punch Tom Brady every time he throws a touchdo— Never mind. I thought about it, and I like this idea.

My son is only 3 so I haven’t had to actually worry about it yet, but I’ve definitely thought about how I can change careers so that I can home school and work from home, just so I don’t have to worry about this bullshit. It’s fucking terrifying. 

With a beard, she looks like a young Leonardo DiCaprio. 

Maybe if we say “pap smear” enough they’ll just cringe themselves to death yelling “Ew, that’s gross. Stop saying that. It’s yucky.”

Honestly? I think Tom Cruise is such a carefully programmed robot that he would just laugh it off with a big laugh, make a pithy joke about Zac Effron being 5'8, and quietly whisper to the interviewer that he’ll murder everyone he’s ever loved if they bring it up again. 

Rene Russo can still get it.

I’d gladly contribute tax dollars to a tanning bed installed in the oval office. Toot-toot.

Different kind of light bulb, dude.

For me it was the music. The soundtrack to the first season was so perfectly curated, it really added a needed layer to the show. Season 2 and 3 have not been scored as well, and it’s hurt the overall mood of the show (along with the insane plot line).

This is maybe why you don’t build concert venues in the fucking suburbs with a 10pm curfew???

When I was pregnant, I had a recurring nightmare about giving birth to a baby with a full mouth of teeth. I didn’t know until this moment that that nightmare could have been a reality. **Shudders**

The first season of Riverdale was amazing, season three was almost unwatchable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to keep watching, but it’s gotten pretty terrible.

ALL Taxidermy??

Competitive oyster shucking sounds like a great way to get a tetanus shot.

I hate cream cheese frosting, which is weird because I love cream cheese, and I love frosting, but cream cheese shouldn’t be sweet. Ugh, I’m gagging just thinking about it. It’s the same reason I hate carrot cake. The cake itself is fine, but cream cheese frosting is from hell.