No.

Steve King just admitted his family tree looks like a wreath. 

Thank you, that was a delightful read. I didn’t realize Witherspoon was awful until she got that DUI and she do-you-know-who-I-am’d all over the place. I know Kevin Smith isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but he can tell a good story. If you haven’t seen it, his story about working for Prince is amazing.

The game play itself is not super sophisticated, it’s all about playing with the right mix of people, specifically people who will agree to say things like “I do say husband, you are a prized breadwinner indeed.”

If Victorian shopping habits interest you, and if you like playing board games, I suggest picking up a game called Ladies and Gentlemen. It’s about shopping and commerce during this time period. In the game you’re divided up into pairs, one person is a lady, and the other is the gentleman. The gentlemen go to work and…

He looks to me more like someone who had a bad botox reaction that caused their brow to droop. That ptosis is PRONOUNCED. 

What decade is this??

Put it in the freezer.

Like 10 years ago? She’s almost 30. The last Potter movie came out in 2011. 

I don’t soul cycle because $38 is a stupid amount of money to pay for one class (among other reasons), but I don’t know that the Y is THAT cheap. The ones where I live are $78/month for one person, $140 for a family. 24 hour fitness is less than half that ($30) for a single person.

I was just discussing this with my neighbor yesterday, that using a word is the surest way to keep your kids from using it, because if your parents say it, it isn’t cool anymore. He has a teenager, and he likes to fuck with him by saying things like “Yeah son, these shoes are lit.”, and he says it’s always met with a…

I think you owe your sister-in-law an apology.

Too fucking real. On the Seattle Times article about this incident, some guy wrote “Yeah, but ANTIFA yelled at an old man to get back in his car” at some protest in Portland. As if yelling at an old man to get out of the way, and smashing a kid’s head into the concrete are the same thing. Fuck these assholes.

Hilarious. Probably not today, my step mother is getting a hip replacement like right now, but I’ll try and get an answer for you and follow up.

When you make pancakes (or waffles, or crepes), the pan is never really the correct temperature for the first pancake and they don’t turn out right. It’s the practice pancake. The one you make knowing it’s not going to be good. You always throw out the first pancake.

When you make pancakes (or waffles, or crepes), the pan is never really the correct temperature for the first pancake and they don’t turn out right. It’s the practice pancake. The one you make knowing it’s not going to be good, and that you’re going to throw out so that the rest of the pancakes will be better. We…

Yes, but they “went there for the wings.”

What they were thinking is a mystery greater than the pyramids.

Without being totally explicit, Hoots was announcing itself as an attempt to appeal to clientele Hooters historically has not: suburban families.

 Ahahahahahahahahahahaha. I’m crying at my desk, that’s so funny.

It’s the meanest thing I’ve ever heard in my whole life, and I laughed about for like an hour afterwards. It’s so vicious.