I would TOTALLY wear those shoes. 

Can confirm. My BIL manufactures a bunch of products for costco, like olive oil and peanut butter. In some cases, he sells them both his own product, AND produces the Kirkland brand product. It’s literally the exact same product, just in different bottles, sitting right next to each other on the shelf, but the…

Okay, now I’m curious. What DO you eat???

(If you answer kibble to maintain user name/comment synergy, then I guess it’s my own fault.)

I mean, Weekend at Bernie’s IS Rachel Green’s favorite movie, so it must be good.

Literally everything I’m wearing today except my bra is from Costco. Do I look a little like a schlubby mom? Yes, yes I do. Am I sorry? No, I am not. I don’t have time to do nice things for myself anymore, it’s a real treat if I get to shower more than twice in a week, so going shopping alone to pick out clothes that…

Like bread. Or eggs. Or fruit?

OH MY GOD. They’re on vacation right now, and every day brings DOZENS of photos of new, color coordinated outfits. EVERY. DAY. I can’t take this shit.

Here we go. Cricket is exactly like baseball, except:

He’s a monster. A MONSTER!!!!

Yeah, the hamburger bun is the only part I’m having a hard time with here. The ricotta and jam part? Delicious. Hamburger bun? Dry and boring. A bagel or brioche roll would have been better. 

That’s nothing. My husband regularly eats a hardboiled egg, mixed into a cup of plain yogurt, with whatever breakfast cereal we have on hand (usually cheerios) sprinkled on top. 

They’re fine if you bought them from the clearance rack at Aldo for $15.99.

B.J. Novak, the secret godfather of her child and very close friend hush-hush lover, was in attendance.

I’m actually bummed that Sarah is gone. Don’t get me wrong, she is the fucking worst, but my uncle is law partners with Sarah’s father in law, so I always looked forward to getting some good gossip off of him at family gatherings. (Did you know that the rest of the Sanders clan are democrats and hate Trump?)

Nobody “likes” driving a minivan. It’s a tool of necessity once you get that second dog and hit max capacity in your 5 seater SUV. It’s the plunger of automobiles. You don’t want to buy one, but sometimes you need it.

I can fall asleep before we even take off. My husband gets so mad at me.

Since beginning his career in 1979, Hollendorfer’s horses have won 7,617 races (65 this season alone) and earned $199,737,768 in purse money.

Crafting has always had political ties.

Oh no, definitely not generic. They’re indian, so a lot of this involves matching saris and kurtas, very much done on purpose. Even the more casual outfits are very done on purpose. I was just looking at a photo, and it is SIL in a navy top and white shorts, niece in navy top and white shorts, BIL in white polo, navy…

Yeah, same. My husband and I have matched on accident, like we both wore jeans and a white button up shirt that day, but never on purpose. And not in such planned color combinations. My sister in law’s facebook feed is a trip. Not only does she pick out matching outfits, she takes a million staged family photos every…