Safeco field (I will never call it T-Mobile Park. Never!) in Seattle is the best ballpark to watch a game at if you like to eat (Seriously. You can get bao here ). There’s a stand the sells fried crickets and you have to get them at the beginning of the game, because they sell out.

You would think a bunch of tech CEOs would have access to an intern who had at least used photoshop once before. I guess not. 

I’m going to start a rumor that he’s a Howard Hughes level germaphobe and just doesn’t want to touch any rando’s sweaty backs. 

Because they’ve all seen the Lenny Kravitz video where he squats on stage and his pants rip.

Leo is quickly turning into Jack Nicholson. Brad is turning into your stoner uncle that only gets invited to Thanksgiving because he’s family. Once Grandma dies, no one will see him again.

Most women can. June certainly could have too.

They’re the Johnny and June of our generation. Stop fighting it you two, and get to boning. 

Hear me out, because this is going to sound crazy, buy maybe, just maybe, try making music good enough that people actually want to pay $1.99 to download it, instead of redeeming a code that came on the back of the energy drink they were going to buy anyways. 

“There was a bee.”

I don’t know that Cruise has ever been in a real fight (I don’t know that he hasn’t, either) but the dude has definitely trained with some of the best fighters for all the action movies he’s been in. He’s also one of those actors who does every stunt the insurance company will let him, so he’s used to getting hit and…

*insert vomit gif here*

I work with a woman who lives in a condo, and when the condo across the hall from her went up for sale for a crazy low price, she bought it without even asking her husband. Now they have two places, across from each other, one is more hers and one is more his. I think they still sleep in the same place together most…

As a frequent consumer of BBC shows, this is one of my favorite jokes in the whole series.

Manny is one of the most gorgeous men on the face of the earth. I would pay money to watch him walk down the street. Like, are you forking kidding me with those cheekbones?

Ugh, I can just imagine the poor customer service staff at Safeway having to explain to customer after customer how arsenic is made, and getting fucking nowhere. Poor little lambs. 

They would have had crazy sex and the most gorgeous children.

I waited tables in college so I’m familiar with having $1-2 k shoved in a dresser drawer you hope your roommate never looks in. I worked the breakfast shift at a hotel restaurant and everyone either charged their bill to their room, or prepaid when they booked so they would show up with these little cards and leave a…

You expect me to believe that a 20 year old has $10k in a safe, in an apartment with paper thin walls??

I ran a marathon a few days before I found out I was pregnant. I don’t think it would have went any better if I hadn’t been pregnant, but I wasn’t exactly carrying the equivalent of a child’s size bowling ball in my stomach yet either.

Those shoes are all awful though.