*Checks picture*

This asshole knew damn well he wasn’t the children’s father. She stated he was controlling and suing for paternity was a way to get back at her and make her see him. 

When I was about 21 I worked at a Victoria’s Secret, and while the general rule was no men allowed in the dressing rooms (usually to prevent horny assholes from trying to fuck in them), we did have a few regular male clients who were either drag performers, or who just liked to wear women’s underwear who would come in…

Subject (and strange choice of target for scorn) aside, this isn’t even an article. There’s no through line, no theory, no point you ever get to. It’s just a collection of quotes from people with no underlying theme to hold it together. What was your conclusion after listening to all these interviews and podcasts?…

I don’t care how well you can sing, unless you are the reanimated corpse of Freddie Mercury, don’t do Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s too fucking long and someone sings it at least once every. single. time. Everyone in that bar now hates you. 

At least it wasn’t Bohemian Rhapsody.

All the girl scouts in Seattle make bank by setting up their sales tables infront of the weed shops, I can imagine that home delivery is an even better option.

I always thought a good business idea would be to host cooking classes for bachelorette parties where you teach people how to bake weed cookies.

Hahaha. I now have a great mental image of Kim trying to perch on the edge of her sink to take a shit, but she can’t quite reach because she’s too short. Thank you 😊 

...Where are the toilets?

I’ve been very fortunate that my old friends with kids are all really supportive and chill about child rearing practices, and I’ve also met two other women whose children are in my son’s daycare class who also live in our neighborhood, and our kids really like playing together, and they’re both non-judgy, and “real”…

Same. 3 year old still sleeps with me. Not just with me, but cuddled up in the crook of my arm with his head on my shoulder. I’m sure he’ll sleep on his own before he goes to college, right? RIGHT? Please someone tell me he’ll stop on his own soon and that I don’t need to start diverting his college account to a…

We borrowed the Halo from a friend who got it as a gift, and my kid slept in that thing for a grand total of seven minutes. He fucking HATED it. He hated his crib too and would just cry and cry and cry until I picked him up. I finally gave in after a few months of getting 1-2 hours of sleep a day and let him sleep in…

The first few months suck hard, then they become delightful little weirdos. Mine is only 3 though, so I’ll get back to you in 10 years when he’s a teenager whether I still think it was worth it or not.

This is the only reasonable response. Fuck, Youtubers make me feel old.

I’m sorry, what is Michael Wilbon’s show called? And what network is it on?

“A boundless, barren, nothingness.”

I think the most popular promposal method when I was in high school was to ask parent permission to sneak into the other persons room, and write a message on their ceiling in glow in the dark stars. I appreciate them continuing the low tech, low key tradition.

Do you know the phone number for anyone in the Oriole’s front office? I’d gladly play this poorly for half his salary.