You’re cracking me up.

Living in faith or living in sin? Jesus knows you’re not sleeping in separate rooms, Christopher.

You’ve got to be yolking me.

In Morgan Freeman’s voice:

Korean. It’s what the “K” in Kpop stands for.

Fruit I Love
1.) Peaches
2.) Nectarines
3.) Raspberries
4.) Blueberries
5.) Apricots
6.) Strawberries
7.) Plums
8.) Mangoes
9.) Limes

God damn. This is my new theme song.

I forgot Bobby Brown was still alive, but you might be right. The clues didn’t really match T-Pain that well.

Men really need to quit it with the penile hubris. 

I think it’s Maya Rudolph, not Margaret Cho. I’ve heard Cho sing, she’s not that good. 

Boooooooo.

Please be Judge Judy, please be Judge Judy, please be Judge Judy (It’s not Judge Judy).

And I know it was technically on Gawker, but let’s never forget the shit show that was 500 days of Kristin. 

Me explaining this move while extremely high on coke:

Probably not? I’ve never actually been there because I’m a scaredy cat, but there are people who go and swear they’ve seen the steps, and people who go who swear they don’t exist.  I read somewhere that there used to be steps but the people who own the property had them bulldozed because they got tired of kids…

But before it was REALLY hard to tell the difference between Ted Cruz and a blob fish, so mission accomplished?

Haha, it’s a good question. I don’t know what the Gates of Hell’s policy is on rescue operations, lol.

Seriously. I know he’s the kind of weirdo who probably ferments his own kombucha, but I don’t think that is his issue.