And that is shocking to me too. Like if I had that much money, I would be getting a weekly facial to keep my skin looking like a 12 year old’s, hire a person to walk around with me and slap cookies out of my hand, a hair and make up team, and a personal trainer to come over to my house multiple times a day so that I…

I’ve never been attracted to Zac Efron before in my life.

1.) Why didn’t you??? I would have watched and made fun of that movie so hard.

Poor Paris. Always a fiancé, never a bride.

It’s still amazing to me that a man that rich, can look THAT bad.

More like boner, am I right? Up top. 

I hope he tries out, makes the team, leads the team to the Superbowl, and then after the coin toss refuses to take the field until Washington changes its racist ass name.

Noooooooooooooo.

I doubt it.

I don’t like you enough to respond to a text in a timely manner. Please stop texting me, I don’t want to be friends anymore. Just stop.

Right after I gave birth to my son, my mom took a picture that included my naked, right titty, and texted it to our entire family. Does that count?

I don’t know, but I keep reading his name as Arm and Hammer and now I think I should add baking soda to my grocery list.

My husband is a naturalized citizen and the only reason he applied for citizenship is because we like to travel and traveling on an Indian passport is a pain in the ass because you need a visa for pretty much everywhere. Basically he did it so he doesn’t have to stand in the longer foreign passport lines at…

I might be in love with you be.

In season 2 they add Danny Devito to the cast, and it gets exponentially better.

Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.

You’re a bad person and you should feel bad.

I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.

73 Questions is painful to watch when it’s not a parody, too.

I thought it was Ron Livingston.