I feel like Lewis is 1/2 step away from pulling a Britney, shaving her head, and hitting a car with an umbrella. She thinks she is Britney.

You’ve never seen any of the Fast and the Furious movies??? I’m a 35 year old, soccer mom with no interest in cars, explosions, or things that go fast, and I have seen every single one of those movies at least twice and loved every god damned minute of it. 

There are a lot of things that were impossible to fuck up when you were 10, that would end in an ambulance ride to the hospital if you try to do them on the north side of 30.

I hadn’t watched Sunny in a while, but apparently this season is killing it.

Maybe he has Parkinson’s? Has he seen a doctor lately? Maybe he should step down if he’s that sick.

They’re starting to look like Browns fans.

I’m pretty sure Jason Segel’s was real, because he said it made his mother cry and she sent an apology email to all their friends and family members. 

It’s one of my favorite movies, and this review perfectly captures the melancholy of the film. 

It doesn’t matter. I will continue to pronounce Deadmau5 as Dead Mao Five, you can fronounce 6ix9ine however you want.

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Kae-per-nick!

Including his wife. 

He has his moments.  He is a really good dad, and can be very sweet and thoughtful, but there are some things (like food) where he has a set agenda and there is no deviating from it. 

He looks a lot like Hassan Minaj, so he’s got the hot thing going for him. He is kind of a pain in the ass some days though.

He really likes Subway egg white wraps.

Sounds like heaven.

That sounds delightful. 

I almost never cook anymore. I have a 2 year old who only eats bread, fruit, and cheese (and seaweed???), my husband is a picky eater who hates asparagus, lettuce, broccoli, celery, beans, lentils, avocado, cheese, and basically anything that tastes good, who only wants to eat “healthy” food, and complains that I use…

I walked into Miss J from America’s next top model at the Met once. Like literally walked into her. My face collided with her naval. As I was about to apologized she looked at me, gave me the “Bitch if you say one damn word I will end you” face, and then went on her way.

Thanks, I’ll have to listen to that. All my right winger family members are posting tons of “But California has strict gun laws and universal healthcare (no they don’t, WTF??) so blame people not guns.”