Why are you giving this piece of shit oxygen?

I tend to think Carol Reed

Please tell me they were in wheelchairs.

I have a real soft spot for Dead Ringers’ opening sequence.

Star Wars does not have opening credits. It has opening titles.

That A Place to Bury Strangers video is the most “first student film” shit I have ever seen.

The A.V. Club: Challenging the aphorism “No news is good news” since, like... a while ago.

Every time I put this album on, those first hazy notes of Wildlife Analysis make me want to take a nighttime stroll through a mercury-vapour-smeared, brutalist institutional compound.

Photo: Karl Urban is Nick Offerman in Too Much Swanson.

I hope that blonde lady wins Survivor.

They have, like, exactly the same eyes!

Burning... Fire... You’re Fired... TRUMP!

GOD... damn it.

I crashed my car when a gorilla in a go-cart threw a turtle at me.

But it does have the world’s loudest wink.

This has always been my gold standard description of cultural insularity. One of the rare, brilliant instances of a white artist using that word to expose white – and especially WASP – insecurity.

Punchable Face: The Max Paolucci Story.

I owe Ernest Cline an apology.

“Ready Everyone? Ernest Cline’s name is attached to something, better shit on it now!”

Such as producing and releasing it.