I told my kids they could each say ONE time during the week, “Come on, Dad, it’s Spring Break,” and then they would get whatever they were begging for. Usually they kept it in their pocket until the last day and they’d get that morning ice cream.

WHY DON’T YOU MOVE BACK TO EUROPE THEN WHERE THAT “FOOTBALL” SHIT IS SUBSIDIZED BY UNCLE SAM’S FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN.

I’ve heard the accuser’s story and they don’t have a leg to stand on.

eating something solely because no one else likes it is the ultimate old man move.

One of my grandpas died way before I was born. The other died when I was three. Total rip off.

Well, maybe if you had put a little more effort into winning the Revolutionary War, this wouldn’t have happened, old chap.

I bet that doesn’t even end up being the score.

You paid thirty-one dollars to see a Wake Forest at Pitt game when their combined records were 19-36?

My takeaway from this: “Keep on fucking that chicken, guys” will be my go to phrase for all purposes from now on.

For some reason, the YouTube preview image reminds me of this wonderful moment:

People are getting pretty ridiculous with defamation suits these days. There’s no pretense of being able to actually win these things. They’re just super powerful bluffs.

Those wheels violate the Geneva Conventions.

naw. they test the fences all the time, like a Velociraptor in Jurassic Park.

If you’re a parent, do you risk having a meltdown or do you get your child what’s most appealing to them?

I’m gonna use that blocked-ad revenue money to buy you some nice, soothing butt-salve, and a mohair washcloth with which to apply it. Because you’re worth it.

But the Mule cost more.

To be fair, he only joined the crime ring very recently after it started doing well.

I know a lot will disagree with me, but she should have passed them to him instead of trying to run them back.

I don’t necessarily disagree with you, but haven’t your friends in higher education told you that the phrases are “old wives’ tale” and “taken aback”?