It’s easy to see why Bill and the Pats win so much in the AFC. Part of it is his coaching acumen and front office maneuvering, the other is that just about every other coach in the conference in any given year is a ding-dong.

Normally yes. That’s one factor coroners and others use in determining time of death. In these cases, however, the blood was missing. It was drained out of the bodies.

The blood draining, though...

Jet fuel can’t melt steel-y eyed play calling!

I already want to know what’s up with the cassava melon. But seeing as it belongs to Frank Reynolds and has a circle drawn on it I think I can figure it out.

Exactly. He had a pretty good idea where that ball was going to be. It’s lucky, but not some crazy fluke. Imagine how much muscle memory, including his eyes, he’s built up shagging balls to get to this level.

Uh, Pat Tillman? Including him as someone who “bowed out” of the NFL is strange, given that his retirement wasn’t necessarily permanent until it, like, was. And his reasoning was extraordinary. He certainly didn't leave because he was tired.

I always refer to him as Handjob Bob but "Two Tugs" is pretty great too.

It’s no wonder the NFL has such a hard-on for the notary. The model is in some ways very much the same; many of you will die young, and don’t you dare turn your back.