When I was in the military and living in a scummy barracks, I had a tiny TV with rabbit ears. The only programs I could get for some reason seemed to be Reba and Judge Mathis.  So I saw a lot of both those shows.  It was a dark time.

Self-checkout is fine, until it inevitably screws you.

It was decent.  Along the lines of that Kevin Costner movie "Open Range".  Kind of laconic, slow-burning, but it got real when it needed to.

American Werewolf, yes.  Howling, yes.  Wolfen, not so much.  In the book, they were hyperfast killing machines with human faces and a rudimentary intelligence, who had blended in alongside humanity for thousands of years.  In the movie, they were a bunch of….wolves.

Thing that always bothered me most about Independence Day—Will Smith, a Marine F-18 pilot, jumps in a Huey helicopter and flies over the ruins of Los Angeles, looking for his woman and her kid.  She stumbles out of a tunnel, and there's Will, setting his chopper down right where she just happens to be, and gives her a…

He's 81 years old.  He'll be as god damned clipped as he wants, you young whippersnappers.

Ah, Wild Palms.  Back in the pre-DVR days, also known as the not-knowing-how-to-program-your-VCR-days, I watched all of these except the last episode.  Never did see how it ended, and now I can't remember much about it other than it was purposely weird. 

They actually dodged a bullet that day, because those guys they told to take a hike were Evil Robot Robert Loggia and Evil Robot Tom Hanks.

So this looks like it's going to be a year for stupid hats.

New band name!

The worst episode was when they went to the Center for Disease Control.  Which was wired up with explosives, in the middle of Atlanta.  Stupidly.

Next time give her a tape of the footage from "The Ring".  Oh, wait, don't.

Same with the Constitution….how many of the Tea Partiers spouting "unconstitutional" this and that and "the founding fathers wanted this" have actually read and attempted to understand the Constitution?  I would venture very few.

Wow, that was just a total FUCK YOU to Houston.  He even addresses the people of Houston directly, to basically tell them, screw you.  Who cares if you've been directly involved in the space program since the very beginning, your city is unimportant.  Unimportant!  We're New York!  Look at us!  I don't even…

What about Capricorn TWO….that's the one they won't tell us about!

Depends on what kind of "tang" you're talking about.

Naked Gun?

U2 peaked with Joshua Tree, then it was all downhill after that.  All their albums before that are worth listening to, after JT, there are a couple of good tracks on every album.  And after that is when Bono started wearing fly goggles and the Edge started wearing a hat at all times and the other two just got weird.

Speaking of old, I saw a recent Cheap Trick concert on HDNet or some such, and holy shit.  Those guys are like seriously AARP.  Rik Nielsen probably looked the best of the lot, since the bald look's kind of ageless, but the other two, jeez.  And no Bun E. Carlos.

Seems to me you'd be more likely to have sexy bitches clinging to your lower body as a garden-fountain installation firm owner than as a penniless rebel. Funny how life works.