“Look, I agree to a point, but what makes you think that his family wouldn’t be just as loving? There are also a lot more things to consider to. Financial aspects for example, and the family situation as well, then you have her health.”

With letters like this, I wonder if the LW is looking for other people to voice the things she’s scared to admit to herself. She knows he’s a controlling asshole, she just needs to hear it from other people. I hope she drops his ass and starts living her best life. 

my cousin had severe bulimia when she was a teenager and though she has “recovered” from this (I honestly don’t know) it is obvious she retains an eating disorder, exercises obsessively, and has body dysmorphia. BOTH of her sons have eating disorders. The eldest, who’s 16, recently lost 30 pounds. the behaviors and…

Yeah, that’s what kills me. This isn’t just “ugh, I wish she’d lose weight” (also shitty!). This is your husband deciding YOUR SISTER ISN’T A FIT CARETAKER and to me, that’s absolutely fucking shocking. That’s so, so sad and awful to see. I’m always fascinated by what it is about people like this that’s so great…

Why are you trying to focus on hypothetical extenuating circumstances that (for all you know) might not be relevant at all? If there were financial factors that would preclude her sister from caring for their child, don’t you think the LW would have mentioned those very salient details?

Heh I’d never leave my kid with my skinny sister.

I will never be surprised by the petty garbage that people will choose over the health and safety of those they should be caring for. I recently found out that my dad and step mom had a clause in their will that if they both died, that there was no way his sister could have custody of me and my brother. This stems…

Yep. My mom would pick at my weight a lot as a kid and teen, and that was damaging enough, but my dad usually stayed out of it... until one day he got caught up in my mom’s bullying and called me “pudgy-pot.” I don’t remember the specific insults my mom used, but that one insult from my dad has stayed with me for 20+…

My dad is fat-phobic and I can say that his treatment of me as a young person significantly destroyed my self-esteem and lead to years of sorrow and mental agony. I will never forgive him for the way he treated me and he is 95 years old. If I were this women - I would divorce her husband because his hatred of fat…

I often find fat shamers are men who can shovel whatever they want in their faces and somehow not gain weight (tall skinny folk for example)

As a fat gay man, I often daydream about if a genie were to grant me a wish, one would be that all mean fat-shamers, through the nuances experienced by all fat people through financial, metabolic, and other fat-causing reasons, to become fat and have to dig themselves out of it like me and other fat people.

Not well, I’m betting.

I wonder: what will happen to your husband’s self worth and world view if he’s in an accident or becomes ill, and permanently gains weight?

One of my friends from college had an eating disorder. She told me one day, very matter-of-factly, that her father would call her fat/make comments about her weight.

Most of the time, parents need to approach differing opinions as a meeting of valid ideas to hash out an agreement. This is not one of those times. The writer’s husband is an asshole. There’s no middle ground here. It’s one thing to encourage your kid to live a healthy and active life. Teaching her that being…

He just sounds so mean. Like really? You wouldn’t leave your kid in her care, just because she’s fat?? I fucking hate people like this. They can’t see beyond people’s weight.

A man once told me that he would divorce me if I got fat. I am no longer with that man.

My father is openly fat-phobic. All three of his daughters either have or had disordered eating or a full blown eating disorder. His fat-phobia wasn’t the only reason, but it did make clear the one thing I should learn to ‘control’ in order to have any worth.

Yes. Yes, yes, and yes some more. And that she KNOWS this is why he has an issue with her sister means it’s been discussed — a LOT. So I wonder how her husband treats her, and how that affects the way she sees her own body. What she’s clearly saying is that her husband wouldn’t love her if she gained weight. I wonder…

Jesus Christ. Why haven’t men died off yet?