If old baseball guys can get fired for being racist dicks there’s going to be a major staffing shortage.

I’m really struggling with the idea that a wealthy middle aged white guy would say something racist. I’m not saying this is all bullshit, but I WILL say that all lives should matter, you know?

Great player. Garbage human being. Let’s all move on.

I always tell my meth dealer that it’s for neck pain. He doesn’t care, but I pride myself on honesty.

Neck pain, extreme emotional swings, belligerency are all signs of a lack of sleep.

especially if those two came from Panama

I have ZERO sympathy for most farmers.

You might say that ball Kroos-ed right into that goal

That’s a nice little promotion you have there. Be a shame if something happened o it.

So, you’re implying that transgenerational racial animosities, involving the horrors of ethnic cleansing and genocide, might lead to emotional reactions that some people perceive as less than sportsmanlike behavior on the field?

Wow. That’s some heavy shit. I wish I’d known about this before the match. When Shaqiri scored and stripped his jersey off, I thought only of the announcers I’d heard during Stoke matches giving him stick for being a selfish player. This explains a HELL of a lot. Responding to fans who are mocking you with t-shirts of…

Hide yer dóttirs, sons.

I consider myself a straight guy but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge every time they put the camera on this dude.

Never underestimate the power of horniness.

Darren Rovell considers this erotic fan fiction.

Go to Barstool. Don’t bother with the articles. Just go to the comment section on any article. I’m serious, I want you to do this, but keep a stopwatch. I want to know exactly how many seconds you last before you tap out. I don’t think you last a full minute. Let me know if I’m wrong. 

See, it’s funny because the government is doing something awful to children. 

The dipshit on the far right looks like he's about to explain why it's OK to use the n-word in public.

That second photo is uncanny. Van Persie’s hair always looked vaguely unnatural to me: like it was made from the same space age material as the rest of his head.