Brava... I didn't even see the set-up there!

Makes for a kicky monogram!

I took my mother, my future MIL, and all 5 of my bridesmaids dress shopping. I was very young.

This makes me sad... Hopefully you can hold this up as an example of "you've already had your way" the next 100 times your Mom tries to pull some side-eye bullshit.

Yowzers, way to infantilize you in preparation for a day that's supposed to be a major right of passage into adulthood.

Seconded on the diaper balm. I use this one for my chapped lips, and the unavoidable chapping of my toddler's cheeks and chin when you combine drooly baby with Canadian winter. It never disappoints, and it's basically olive oil based without a ton of ingredients - I could make it in my own kitchen if I wasn't a lazy…

Over the holidays, I ate a cookie that my aunt shoved in my face, which turned out to be full o' cashews, and went into immediate anaphylaxis - swollen eyes, face, throat and, yes, lips. Whilst I was frantically jabbing myself in the leg with epinepherine and getting bundled out the door for a super-fun trip to the…

Where's the app that gives the cat bedroom eyes and contours it's unsightly Mom arms?

The shoulder pads really make it, don't they?

Double points if this pic was taken after she had dropped the gloves and KO'd her predecessor. Either way, points for shoulderpads done right.

Yeah, I worked in a cafe in a super small town one summer (until I got shit-canned for slapping someone, but that's a whole other BCO), and we had a regular who would bring most of her own food because she had a crapton of very serious allergies. Like, anaphylaxis to a bunch of different foods, and celiac before…

Ouf, yeah. Dry weddings are THE WORST. I come from a large family of hard drinking Scots, so even a cash bar is pretty much against our religion, nevermind the idea of no bar at all. Also, pinwheel sandwiches. Was it in a church basement? Did the whole thing smell like apple juice and graham crackers? Was the theme "a…

I miss COTD so much! Thanks for the nod, anyway. Still feels good, dammit!

Worthy goal. I had a rule at my wedding that if I was in danger of missing a course, one of my attendants would straight up walk my plate over to me wherever I happened to be standing/listening to a relative's unending annecdote. This is my rebuttal to anyone who says "why even have bridesmaids?" For the scallop…

Need to see the peen to verify.

Yeah, another poster introduced me to this fun article that handily (and upsettingly) disproves my dog theory. General conclusion seems to be that your pets are still animals, and will pretty much across the board eat your face (or your pom poms, or whatever).

An excellent motto. Maybe submit to Chicken Soup for the Potential Sociopath's Soul? Mine is "Don't eat oysters at weddings" (for purely microbiological reasons, although this annecdote only serves as confirmation).

The gift that keeps on giving.

That's kind of the worst though, right? Because now she and her boobs are in a bunch of your wedding pictures, but not actually a part of your life (for completely understandable reasons).

Yeah, particularly given that a honeymoon (i.e. a perfect time to rob you because you're off fucking somewhere) generally follows a wedding, it's hard to fault the bride on this one.