In 2014, only Secret Service Agent Mac Wilson (played by a check-cashing Gerrard Butler) can save America from this insane coup attempt.

There is a crucial third camp of Republicans to consider: those who know that this regime is their best, only chance to ever smell this type of power. They are the opportunists, frauds, dullards, arsonists, and nepotism hires.

Count the number of Confederate flags they wave around at their bullshit conventions to skirt the law.

Everyone should read Transmetropolitan is they haven’t already. Warren Ellis predicted our current global political nightmare 25 years ago.

Burger King parking lot, Brut, and hot, unwashed dentures.

This is why I’m moving to Ilus.

Yes, please. And while we’re at it, can you also promise me Harris as AG? And Inslee as head of the EPA?

I had a boss pronounce it “Rooters,” after I brought a business-relevant story to their attention.

All booze sales, including wine, beer, and spirits, dropped by .08 percent in 2018 for the third year in a row.

‘Nduja is such a fantastic sleeper pick. I had no idea what the stuff was, bought it on a lark and ho-lee cats.

That police chief must’ve thrown his hat in the dirt when the DA told him that “uppity” isn’t a felony. 

Exactly this.  He’s Obi-Wan, not Luke. 

“Lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.”

This freaking guy was Patient Zero for Dunning-Kreuger.

...and one of its cofounders, Lawrence Vander Esch—who was also chairman of his county’s Republican Party—spent four years in prison after being arrested in 2001 for multiple counts of sexual abuse.

I thought I invented this trick for chopping canned chipotles in adobo.

My employer offered a 10% shift differential for those of us willing to change our schedules from 9-6 to 11-8. I nearly sprained my knee leaping at the opportunity.

Kushner wishes he was Patrick Bateman.  He’s much closer to little brother Sean Bateman from The Rules of Attraction.

Jared’s first day in prison will be magical.

The same adults who drove these Bretts in their MAGA hats to an anti-choice rally? They were laughing and cheering. The adults are the problem.