Sperm boner makes sense to me.

A tin can plated in 24k gold. The classiest tin can that money can buy.

you get a galaxy of stars!

Sounds like the double-team really forced him into the turnover this time.

Here’s the difference. If you give a playbook to a smart person with some political acumen and ask them what a given team should do next, the wise answer would be to say something like, “I’m a huge fan, guys, but I think I’ll leave that one to the professionals,” or even, “Sorry, not much of a football fan!”

Wait ‘til he learns American Pharoah doesn’t even wear pants

Columnist deeply concerned that a black woman gives him an erection.

Hey, they are the ones stalking her life daily.

I get always get stuck on the inhumanity and lack of common decency. You’ve signed up to fight, and possibly die for your country but your gravitas and sense of honor doesn’t extend far enough to not pull Porky’s style bullshit on YOUR FELLOW crew member ?

I had a cop pull that s*** on me at the line for the local recycling center. I confronted him and told him, “What makes you think your time is more valuable than mine or anybody else waiting on the line?” He told me “I’m a cop in town.” I looked him dead in the eye and told him, “I know exactly who you are Jack” (that…

They were warning you against Stan.

I think an unmanned drone is the most humane thing. Don’t want to risk any humans having to see what is *really* inside of The Donald.

I know it’s true

In this context, ‘toss’ means ‘throw’.

The only thing whiter than storming the court is this comment.

Nah, “tossing the wombat” is when someone claims to have pulled off some very unlikely maneuver, & you know they’re bullshitting you. The idiom comes from Australia - home of the wombat - where it’s common knowledge that it’s impossible for anyone but an Olympic-class weightlifter to literally toss a wombat.

As a proud Towson graduate, I believe I speak on behalf of all alumni when I say “We have a swim team?”

Maybe he just wanted to work on his stroke

For my corpse related air freshening purposes I prefer durian fruit. A box of durian in the back seat and no one bothers to look in the trunk.