I guess somebody got their money’s worth.

The Stanford Incident: starring Tom Cruise as the prodigy whose life was ruined by a naked dame who selfishly fell beneath his Adonis-like physique.

Right you are.

I bet he cried lots of extremely stupid tears.

Unsavory people trying to sell bogus information to reporters is not exactly a new phenomenon. Just because the alleged subject is Trump doesn't make this situation newsworthy.

There are two Americas: Trump, and everyone else. He can have Taylor Swift too - she's annoying.

Not your wife, evidently.

Next week: Madeleine admits that personal hygiene might not be such a bad idea after all.

That was no mosquito. That was Trump’s intellect transmuted into etymological form.

Totally Irrelevant.

I have sent my kids out into the night with a milk pail to collect nickels and/or tears for Dwyane Wade from passing lunatics. Won't you please give what you can!

Just think of this as material for some of her shitty-ass songs.

This list is misleading, because he is always driving toward a very specific outcome. For instance, we only need to ban Muslims until we “figure out what’s going on.”

I can’t even serve as a lecher? That shit is cold.

But what if she gets pregnated in her butt?

I love her. “Half of a Yellow Sun” is one of the best books I have read in many, many years.

I give the South Side Irish Mooks credit for their one hit song, “Saigon but not Forgotten.”

+1 Bee Vees

Habitual offenders.

What about sex? Can I still have sex? What if I coat myself with sesame tahini and then roll myself in quinoa? What if...