Big shout out to the brain burrito at Taqueria Cancun on Mission St.!

Just thinking about you thinking about a rice-filled burrito makes me feel hornier than a chihuahua.

Not true - they traded the rights to that title for an injured third-round pick in 3003.

Speaking as a man who also poops, I crappishly concur.

You forgot to mention that you are a professional bug-fucker.

I, for one, am shocked that such filth made its way into the hands of a minor. Please cancel my subscription to Swimming World immediately.

Until recent tragic events, I would have said it’s hard to imagine going to a concert and experiencing something more terrifying than a Trump sighting.

Charlie Sheen is a goddamn virus.

I need an air freshener that smells like bong water to hide the smell of the “musk” scented ones I favor.

I’ll be your friend.

Juicy what I mean?!

Because it's a fucking fruit. Copulation is dirty, even for citrus.

Just think of them as “vintage rustic shabby chic.”

This goes along with my long-held view that prostitutes should be required to wear catchers mitts on both hands and a silly clown mask.

If the “purpose” of art is to work through one’s banal insecurities, I’m burning my membership card immediately.

“Thrust into our unwilling faces” - I wish I had a shekel for every time we’ve made that command.

Correct. I was at that Motorhead concert with Robert McNamara, and there is no fucken way Ben Carson was on stage.

More importantly, what’s the price for getting just one cheek lifted? I plan to make big buck modeling for those before-after photos.

Wow that is sad. Has he tried looking in the car seats? What about probing deep up his own butt with a big-ass boot?

“You tweetin to me?”