Thankfully TB makes it super easy to customize menu items on their app so you can experiment and recreate old items, like the MexiMelt. order a cheesy rollup, add beef, add pico. It’s even cheaper than the MexiMelt was!

I didn’t realize smoking was a thing for me, but by virtue of my type (Jewish scientists), I didn’t really date a smoker from beginning of college to my mid 20s.

(sound of crickets)

I think the issue that gets skirted in these discussions is that the demographics of folks that attend college tend to be whiter and wealthier than the country at large. And while the debt may be burdensome, the math shows these people will end up much better off than those who never attended college at all. So the…

Sorry Deadspin, but in the US soccer world, ur only slightly better than TMZ.

I voted for the shrooms! 

Alligators maybe fine mothers but they are notoriously bad at monetary policy.

I actually do kind of love it for real. Simple, direct, clear, sounds pretty much like something a real person would say. And it tells you EXACTLY who the speaker is.

The Right: Gender is based on IMMUTABLE biological characteristics like BODY PARTS and CHROMOSOMES.

Being within a mile radius of a Harley is annoying as shit which is partly the bike and partly the rider. It’s obnoxiously loud. The corvette doesn’t have that issue. Mustangs do tho, as sweet as they sound they are so damn annoying in parking lots and neighborhoods and in slow traffic. 

I don’t know which of the two offences is more egregious — weaseling out of nine parking tickets, or “wouldn’t of hurt”. Do you think “of” is an auxiliary verb? Should it be?

Just watch Without a Clue, starring Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley, instead.  Still my favorite comedic interpretation of Sherlock Holmes.

“At least Boston Police haven’t been in headlines for murdering people of color...”

At least Boston Police haven’t been in headlines for murdering people of color, unlike say New York City, who regularly frame and murder people of color. This is more corporate Democrat “look I’m progressive because I shit on Boston” mainstream media fed opinion, lazy self congratulating sh*t. But when you get down to…

Sell it to the Roadkill guys. This is right up their alley.

Paul Manafold.

I don’t know, the wine on an empty stomach seems ruinous to me. Plus, Camembert on an empty stomach sounds like a disaster in the making... and I love cheese.

Le rasoir national t’attend, M. Trump!

I knew a guy who was just simply playing with his innocent hand gun, then got depressed and went out and shot up a pizza place with his video game.

Men shouldn’t have sex if they’re not prepared to accept that the woman may get an abortion.