Llama colored, obviously.

Ultimately, Tortorella brought a reform-minded coaching style to the Canucks, but he couldn't ever get Daniel Sedin and Ryan Kesler to work together and buy into his system.

You seem like the type of guy women need to call security on.

The idea of Dan Snyder fucking a horse is completely crude and unnecessary, Kyle. I hope you're sued to the highest extent of the law by that poor horse.

There's something unsettling about "I'm not a bitch" in the same sentence as "I was cheating on him after four years."

Trust your instincts.

Actually, I'm at least mediocre.

They also announced a free blanket giveaway. I am so jealous!

No, this is that kid.

If you go back for enough I guess that's accurate.

Rogers still owns almost everything.

Marchman will never escape that list. A pox upon his cereals.

Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing.

Damn, man, that's a good-ass question.

[frantically deletes draft for this Saturday]

Duke Ellington said about music, "if it sounds good, it is good." The same thing applies to beer. If it tastes good, it is good.

We're sorry to let you know that NHL will no longer work on older Roku players.

Internet commentator: "How dare that man not give 100%! Blah blah blah, rabble rabble (posts while at work)"

As long as Marchman's cereal rankings exist, nothing else can "easily" be the worst.

17. Country