Whenever I do wear a ponytail, taking it out is 1000% more pleasurable than taking off my bra. Sometimes I want to wear one just to experience that moment of sweet release.

They’re on fire this week:

I don’t know what Ashley’s banging on about. Give me old stodgy white guys tweeting about whether they should retweet Cardi B any day of the week.

BY age 27 anna has had 4-5 sexual partners? Bahahahaha

It sounds like Average Anna has a pretty good time until she gets married and has kids.  That was obviously her mistake.

i will say Kevin can do virtually no wrong in my eyes, and I’m a straight married male. He’s so dang charming...even when he’s doing something awful.

I just finished a cantankerous debate about this blasted ad with a guy who voted for Trump, and he said “white guys are tired of being told we’re stupid in ads!” I asked what ads because all the ones I see are like, BUY THIS GIANT TRUCK TO SHOW YOU HAVE BALLS, GRRRR! BUY THIS DEODORANT THAT SMELLS LIKE A SEXY PINE…

OMG YASSS I’ve been waiting/hoping all day for Jez to talk about last night’s episode. I fast forwarded through most of the Scheana parts because I can’t handle her thirst and it makes me cringe, but can we PLEASE talk about Stassi’s mom and how she talked about Stassi to her boyfriend?? Also, I hate Katie. end of…

Brittany is full on co-dependent now. Any one that asks how she is doing, expresses concern that Jax is rushing into marriage with her, expresses concern that Jax hasn’t processes the death of his father, etc. she immediately runs back to Jax and tells them. She is literally trying to make it her and Jax against the…

If I threw out everything that didn’t bring me joy I’d be sitting in a house with, like one skillet, two guitars, a TV and a really nice canvas bag. Also would be alone because ofMill would leave me. 

If you’re in need of a single 8-ounce white ceramic mug from Ikea, I decided this morning I’m ready to part with it.

Smoke-free household.

You’re getting my old crap!

Not to mention, all the furloughed government employees holding garage sales to make up for their lost salary. /s

I’m enjoying all the konmari jokes on social media. Most of them are about getting rid of your husband

Every. Damn. Time.

Anyone else still read it as “Frye” at first?

I don’t know why Chris [Smith] is quoting him that way. We both made a film about the same person. We know the person is a compulsive liar.”

So then he came back and asked if we would do it for $100,000 in cash. And we still said this wasn’t something that was going to work for us.”

all I can say is thank ypu so very much.