Lots of bloody Kleenex and fractured teeth left on the sidewalk outside the establishment.

Italian mom + baked ziti and tiramasu = accusations “forgotten”

He’s lucky to have 2 small superficial holes in his body instead of the one very large one like most AAs get when committing the unspeakable crime of being within 3 meters of the po-po.

Not very popular? LOLWUT?

I must say...those Coke dogs appear quite sprite.

IANAL, so I’ll ask the obvious — what’s up with the sentence? I dont understand the sentence being 2 very different minimums of jail time. Can someone explain?

and I told him he was wrong

1) 1 year (er...4 months?) in Duke B-ball program

Otto....the favorite eman of lla dyslexics.

The players vs. refs thing slays me. Do the players really want what soccer has, where after every call, 5 guys jump right up into the face of the ref, surrounding him and not letting him retreat? Why cant they just STFU and accept the call/no-call, collecting their paycheck regardless?

preemptively greased up poles

The prob with the Passan piece, IMO, is that he keeps asking why the union is getting weaker. Or appears weaker in talks. I have a theory: because MLBers aren’t as interested in fighting for a few extra millions in their contracts as they were fighting for a few extra thousands many years ago. Just not worth it to…

Dumb question — why are the indoor records so much slower than the outdoor ones? Is it lack of tailwind, or too much curve in the track, or something else?

This guy’s going to die via suicide within a week in the clink, if he even makes it to sentencing.

I’m guessing eating dollar bills tastes better than actually eating Taco Bell.

The birth of the kid can attest that I, too, have used my crotch to put one past the goalie.

The state’s on the road to ruin. Asphalt lays with the city and state, no one doing anything is going to accelerate the problems.

This. At this point, since all gymnasts get hurt and/or sick at some time in their careers, can we just assume he’s molested every single US gymnast since...1996?

What did the other, non-”sick” athletes claim? Roid-rage? Back-acne issues? Shrunken testicles? Needle stick injuries?

Whereas I’m more of a nightly one.