Couple things. Well, actually I guess it’s just one thing, but there are a couple points to it.

Drew’s wife went on to his twitter to correct Drew’s tweet that he was drunk at the time. He apparently was not.

I’m holding out for “Mirror Fight 2: Hospitalized Drewgaloo”

I’m still banking on some sudden onset of, like, sepsis. Something viral, maybe some sort of awful gastrointestinal infection. Something like that.

If it turns out that Drew got hit by a car, that would really make all of the “Shit Ranked!” article and comments pretty ironic.

“Everybody believed in us!”

This is the dumbest take possible.  You should be ashamed.

I think that both the brain trauma argument and the “you’ll make more money long-term” argument generally don’t apply to quarterbacks. Sure, there’s a possible future where he maximizes his earnings in MLB, but he’d have to be a real, true superstar with a long career. In the NFL, he’d merely need to be a starter.

All you'd have to do is look at the recommended articles to disabuse you of that notion, but why let facts get in the way of prejudice?

Two things; 1; Jay Bilas is awesome. Two; fuck sanctimonious assholes like Savarese so hard.

If, before the game, you told Bears fans that all they needed to win the game was a perfect game from Cody Parkey, how would they have felt? Like, if you told them “the Bears will 100% win the game as long as Cody Parkey has a perfect day,” what percentage of Bears fans would put money on a Bears win?

I hate that I like the Bears.

i was super interested to see a drop-kicked onside attempt, but instead homie just pooched it 30 yards down the field. i understand he’s there to do precisely one job and apparently has no clue how to use a tee or kick with a holder but damn. 

These days my hamstrings tighten and twitch just at the thought of trying to pick up a pen from underneath the table. 

I like this version of your comments.  Better than some grey yelling the n-word at me.

This is like someone, who has never played golf, buying a set of golf clubs as an adult and trying to get into U.S. Open qualifying. I hope they have fun, but thinking they can make the Olympics is ridiculous.

forgot “single origin”

Exactly - the words “artisanal” and “free trade” don’t appear once!

I wish I could kiss you for that but take a damn star instead.

They’re so broke they couldn’t afford a superstar with two eyebrows, for fuck’s sakes.