I’m not having a first dance, but the song I was going to choose was Rainbow Connection, because it’s got really nice lyrics but it’s also being sung by a puppeteered frog and the Muppets are the fucking best. So that might be irreverent enough for him? While still making someone’s grandmother cry for sure? Also it’s…

Oh yeah but ringz! Oh, wait ...

That’s not even a Hot Take. It’s just true.

I love Tim Duncan and am saddened at his retirement, so in the spirit of stirring up some shit for no reason: if you think Kobe Bryant was the best player of their generation, and not Timmy, you are a raving madman, wandering the desert shoveling peyote into his mouth, lost in the grip of his own feverish…

True, but England certainly took credit for him ending the Wimbledon drought in 2013.

They don’t, which is why I’m surprised they didn’t opt for something “Victorian.” Those folk knew from gaudy.

Once again confirming that I, a person whose ancestors were brought to U.S. shores 200+ years ago—long before the immigrant ancestors of many a white person—am still not a “Real American” with the rights of full citizenship. Thanks, Joe Walsh, for reminding me.

Absolute bullshit. These comments are no place for accurate reporting of any kind.

Jones: haha made you cry again.

For an even fuller context, why not include the entire history of the United States in every news story?

The difference is the killers of those police officers will be convicted.

eh that was the unstated joke in my post but I welcome any use of that picture. What a fucking horror show Rio is shaping up to be. And its not like the city will stop having corruption, unpaid public employees, rampant crime, mass pollution, and poverty just because the world stops looking when the olympics end

When are the big companies and USOC going to learn to just let it go? I’ve never heard of Oiselle but good for them for sponsoring some of the lesser known athletes. The big companies let a winner slip through their grasp so now nobody can celebrate the athlete’s success? I probably am not the market for Oiselle, but…

No it’s lady Thor because Thor is his name , and taking a main cast member and giving it to women or even doing the reverse is just lazy why the fuck would you want that.

“He’s been locked up by a mysterious force....” I did that one time. It was a meal of Canadian cheese soup, a grilled cheese sandwich and cheesy poofs. It took me three days till I was able to poop.

Because I write for Jezebel and don’t know what sports are.

I won’t lie, I think reading that sentence might have made me have a mini-stroke. Overworked my brain trying to make some sort of sense of it.

I remember seeing a stat mot long after Tamir Rice’s murder that 83% of police brutality complaints were filed against 6% of the cops.

If I had to look at that day and and day out, I’d kill myself out of dull-dom. Holly crap, I’ve seen Opus Dei hermit cave that was livelier than that...

Cool Plymouth Prowler, bruh.