Air Seinfelds

My grandmother raves about how comfortable they are for power walking the second floor of the mall.

:)

Weird, after 10,000+ hours of masturbating I'm still getting the same result.

“Methodology flawed; why are we discussing this?”

-Prof. A. Iverson, University of Pennsylvania, Reader for original paper

Thus began theRinger-Deadspin War.

That can certainly be considered child abuse, but it no longer counts as a crime against the dog.

lol

I would extend this advice to anyone asking for help, with pretty much anything. If a doctor asks you where it hurts and you tell him “Everywhere!”, he’ll be forced to conclude that you’re dying. As a result, you’re probably not going to get much done about the pain in your knee.

No German automotive manufacturer would ever have dared to show such an ugly potato in public.

The Yard Goats played home games at Dodd Stadium in Norwich

Except AA generally does not work in the long-term in keeping someone sober.

You'd think Phil Knight could come up with a better user name.

I can’t if you’re satirizing Nike’s tone-deafness or not. Help!

waitwaitwait...there were 22,000 people at a Marlins game?

Is it babysitting?

Are you getting paid?

Then if the babysitters club has taught me anything it’s that no, it’s not goddamned babysitting.

*whispers* I bet he still does.

Are you kidding? He threw rocks at cars, was abandoned, survived for a week alone in the mountains and the Army came to fetch him personally. The kid thinks he’s fucking invincible right now. Maybe even immortal. He thinks he’s goddamned Thor.

Could have but didn’t, he learned a lesson for sure. I mean, yeah the lesson he learned was that his parents are sociopaths, but he learned a lesson.

I bet he never throws rocks at cars again.