If he had written, “Thanks for all the fish.” I would be much more worried.

This seems to be the least likely of all the possible scenarios.

True, but tequila is still an option and I LOVE a good tequila.

If he’s supporting the child financially and physically, you’re damn right WE’RE pregnant

What a bummer she can’t have infant formula. Sucks to be her!

I think it’ll be fun to fuck with people on the internet by prefacing everything with “Millennials won’t remember but...” and just make shit up.

The point is, at one point in the not yet too distant past, this wasn’t even an issue.

Window and aisle seats shouldn't cost MORE. Middle seats should just cost LESS.

They should make the seats at the front of the airplane cost more too.

This does sound like a very good interview. It’s a strange state of affairs when morning DJ’s and comedians are the ones best at questioning politicians rather than actual news media

I LOVE how you just ASSUME Ghost-Kipling isn’t getting a cut of this. Sheesh.

My last trip to Universal my friends and I hit up the Simpons ride, nearly threw up.

Ah yes, that’s Kobe, always sacrificing individual success for the good of the team.

You nailed it, I think.

I'm eating some thin mints right now, so I basically know what it's like to be President.

It’s partially this, but it’s equally as much some arrogant, out-of-touch pricks in the studio system who still don’t get how the internet works.

I’ve met them, they’re real. It may be another generation before they’re finally gone.

The funny part is that the worker DID recognize McConnell and that there isn’t normally a cover charge.

So now I know what it feels like to gun nuts whenever there is a whisper of a ban on guns. Brb, gonna go buy every pocket pussy and fleshlight I can find.

Marble racing is exciting enough already, I appreciated the golf announcer keeping my heartrate at a manageable level.

I get misty. Then I get a little jealous (because my father was a garbage father and is a garbage person). Then I get happy again because my husband is an excellent father and my kids are so happy to spend time with him.