While he is obviously going to play the Penguin, I still hold out hope that they’ll go deep into the Rogues Gallery. I for one would like to see what Jonah Hill could do playing this guy...

The Penguin is no businessman. He’s a deformed freak who was raised by penguins below the zoo and hates Christmas. Everybody knows this.

I find your lack of spicy BBQ varieties disturbing. Tim’s Hawaiian Luau BBQ were a great example but seem to have been held up in lawsuit hell because some idiot in California can’t read a label.

That right there is some advanced tanking.

So you’re saying it’ll put a smile on my face eleven miles wide?

I disagree

Read the linked Nat Geo article: it’s not so much that it’s got every variety of apple possible, but it’s got one of the main ancestors of our modern apples (which can still offer genetic diversity to our rather restricted current commercial crops), and incredible diversity of other nuts and fruits as well.

Or my favorite game, “Where the fuck are my pants?”

+1 warrant issuance

You get a Star for that Trek reference.

Exactly! Booze trees!

I knew pretty much none of that.

I prefer the full Scottish because it has more things that I don’t know what they are (or don’t want to know), like tattie scones, black pudding, and lorne sausage. Sometimes haggis, too.  Also, tomatoes and mushrooms are key.

I miss The Takeout Hangover Helper feature, and it's adorable mascot. For whatever stroke of luck, I just don't get hangovers. I've had maybe three, ever. 

Jalopnik reader actually knows that Diesel engines were designed to burn that stuff until oil products proved cheaper.

Automotive geeks might have questions about how the engine works, or how much fuel this took,

Jalopnik reader: Wait, how did you retrofit it? What kind of engine/transmission setup did it have? WHAT KIND OF HORSEPOWER? MILEAGE? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!!!

This is a cart fire, you’re thinking of a dumpster fire, easy mistake.

I thought they played the Browns last week? 

That play died faster than a dehydrated lineman.