Boris will do whatever it takes to get out of an additional five minutes of exercise.

“[T]he Star Wars producers decided to cleverly conceal the freighter under some plastic tarps inside a circle of storage containers...”

Tebow’s NFL highlights should be more than sufficient to counter the idea of white supremacy.

Question to the grown man wearing a baseball uniform at a press conference: Have you ever done anything that may have been questionable?

I’m as big a Patriots hater as the next guy but associating them with the Confederacy is just wrong.

Massachusetts

Oldest trick in the book. Jimmy’s gonna fill his bindle with everyone else’s clothes.

This is precisely why they need to have other people play video games for UNC athletes.

More like Pittsburgh Stealers, amirite?

Pence was all over that divot.

Jesus, what do you want, anyone not a linemen can’t be tackled?

Makes sense. Big Ben is Grumpy, Jay Cutler is Sleepy and their offensive line coach is Sneezy.

Probably the feet too; they’re important here.

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns

The Tampa Bay player also said, “My phone was ringing off the hook from locals calling in death threats. Thankfully it died down a bit around 7-7:30pm. Didn’t get one after 8pm at all.”

Let’s not be hasty. No one’s heard about Josh Hamilton’s.

Three.

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?

Somewhere Tom Osborne is shaking his head that this is what has happened to the proud Nebraska program that so many suffered and bled for, usually right before he stashed the gun in his office safe.

While his pen is mightier, it's always good to have a back-up.