WAIT. ARE YOU HERE TO TELL ME THAT THE DEMOCRATS DID RESEARCH ON THE OPPOSING PARTY IN THE LAST ELECTION. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF CORRUPTION IS THIS?

I mean, she did say in a debate that Trump was a puppet of Putin. He responded with “No puppet! You’re the puppet!” and so we forgot because we were too busy laughing at how insane he is.

Here’s Trump’s standing O-face

Gasp! The Clinton Campaign paid for opposition research? OMG! Say it isn’t so! Next you are going to tell me that there is no Santa Claus!

Ellie didn’t use it in the Barf Bag Tweet selections today, but for Code 45* purposes it’s worth noting this gem: “The reason Flake and Corker dropped out of the Senate race is very simple, they had zero chance of being elected. Now act so hurt & wounded!”

The long anticipated release of the #JFKFiles will take place tomorrow. So interesting!

Better to be “just a pretty face” than be “what’s her face”?

This happened in Montreal? Well, then the problem is obvious: he wasn’t singing it in French.

“I had a very respectful conversation with the widow of Sgt. La David Johnson, and spoke his name from beginning, without hesitation!”

Just two words and one initialism from which to discern the Code 45* message of the day. We will, of course, be ignoring the football league initialism – old 45* Twitter-tilts at that goddam NFL windmill every fucking day, regardless of what else is going on, so it’s clearly a red herring.

Honestly if the BBC did run that headline I wouldn’t be surprised. Trump is one of the few topics they don’t even try to be balanced or neutral on but just mock the fucker openly.

With every turn of this story

Nailed it. trump is a petty motherfucker. This allows him to feel like he’s dishing out some payback.

“Obama never would have released these.”

but what did Fox and Friends say?

Only decent act in his life. Except he’s not doing this to reveal truth. He’s doing so to show off his power and to distract people from more pressing issues. So, even the appearance of decency is a lie.

Build the wall, they’re streaming in. Ban the Muslims, they’re coming to massacre us. Cops, you gotta get rough with the suspects. Sluts are murdering babies. The bad hombres are running wild – deport them all. Sanctuary cities will turn into the Thunderdome. MS-13 are coming for your beautiful, beautiful daughters.…

To be fair, he only has two settings: yelling, and sexual harassing.

What in the fuck is going on with the camera work in that tax video. You’re supposed to pivot to the camera that’s recording you, dipshit. Also stop yelling.