If the son’s a twit, you must acquit!

Yeah, “job stoppers” are face, neck and hands. I don’t know if it’s still true now but in South Carolina when they first allowed tattoo shops (in 2008), shops had to pick only one of those areas. I wanted to get some stars on my neck/behind my ear and the shop couldn’t do it and they also told me that even if they…

What an effective way to advertise that you’re impotent but have disposable income and shakey judgement.

It’s like telling the world “Not only can I change a tire in 4 minutes but I also know how to operate an industrial dishwasher, and floor buffer.”

Could be worse. Have you read iTunes T&Cs?

Saturday Night Social hosted by Trump’s flabby ass.

Hell, I’m starting to think Jimmy Hoffa was there.

Melania always keeps a baggie of Cheerios in her purse for cases when Donnie balks at eating his dinner.

I love it! In his spluttering eagerness to attach insults to Obama in any way possible, he just threw “failed” at the wall and it stuck in the wrong place.

Really, all he had to do was drop the word “failed”, but he is incapable of saying “Obamacare” without prefacing it with the words “failed”, “failing”, or some iteration therein.

Anyone else hope that French chefs refused to make Trump well done steaks? I hope he had to bring ketchup and a baggie of well done steak wherever he went.

“Republicans Senators are working hard to get their failed ObamaCare replacement approved.”

Ah yes, the Women’s Open. Isn’t that the one that he threatened to sue if they moved their venue?

It’s amazing how many people keep being revealed as being at that meeting.

Little known fact that one of the primary missions of the KGB was to find homes for Russian orphans.

This is all I see whenever I see Trump looking serious or trying to look tough now. I’ve got zero faith that there’s anything going on in there that’s remotely related to whatever event he’s attending or person he’s talking to.

Not to be confused with his “I’ve just lost control over my bodily functions”/Oops! I crapped my pants face

“Why do I have to sit here with these cheese eating surrender monkeys, listening to their high school band when I have important golfing to get to? Even worse, I don’t even have a Trump hotel to stay at that I can overbill the government for. Sad! Being president sucks.”