“I said, did you do it? And he said no, I did not. Absolutely not. I then asked him a second time in a totally different way. He said absolutely not.”

‘it looks like it’s suddenly reversed course.’

[Sergeant] Detritus was particularly good when it came to asking questions. He had three basic ones. They were the direct (“Did you do it?”), the persistent (“Are you sure it wasn’t you that done it?”), and the subtle (“It was you what done it, wasn’t it?”). Although they were not the most cunning questions ever…

I can never tell what direction his hair is racing in, but it looks like it’s suddenly reversed course.

“I said, did you do it? And he said no, I did not. Absolutely not. I then asked him a second time in a totally different way. He said absolutely not.”

“The W.H. is functioning perfectly” sounds like a deceptive Craigslist ad for a used 1973 Ford Pinto.

I like to imagine him hitting “send”, leaning back smugly in his chair thinking “That’ll show ‘em! Dad’s gonna be so proud of me!”, then someone runs into the room shouting “DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU’VE DONE??”

Let this be a lesson to all of us that our shit is not nearly as important or dire as it seems to us in the moment.

I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy. Here, this nigerian prince will back me up, imma cc him.

He’s probably waiting for that Nigerian prince to send him a check.

“He didn’t delete them, as others have done.”

Welp. hannity doesn’t see any wrong doing so case closed. Let’s move on people nothing to see here.

Hottest of Taeks: Don Junior is a fucking moron.

Start the chant now:

Here’s one more.

AHEM “Failing NYT”.

This whole story was so blatantly ridiculous that I was surprised it wasn’t an email forward from my mother

But... But... But...

That won’t get clicks! It is only interesting if there is a conspiracy

Maybe in Japan things like facts still matter, but we’re making America great one ridiculous rumor at a time!

“Donnie Trump wouldn’t cross the street to piss on his sons if they were on fire.”